| Pet Bereavement
The relationship between people and animals has changed in the last 50 years. Animals who live with people have traditionally been called ‘pets’. They now tend to be referred to as ‘companion animals’. This change in terminology implies a mutual relationship between humans and animals which has been described as the ‘human-animal bond’. This relationship seems to be deepening. Many owners consider their companion animals to be a family member and there are many other benefits of pet-ownership other than the obvious companionship. Pets help maintain the health and well-being of their owners. They act as social lubricants or ice-breakers, particularly with the disabled, ill or socially awkward people. Pets stabilize the lives of their owners with their constant presence, unconditional love and emotional support. Pets are often credited with pulling their owners through ‘rough spots’ in the lives by providing emotional support. Pets often play a key role in people’s daily routine including leisure time activities and social support. Why do pets make good companions? The reasons are complex and go right back to the domestication of the pet species thousands of years ago. Pets often appear to communicate directly with their owner. Whilst this is impossible, it is considered by owners to be important. This can be reinforced with pets mimic their owners behaviour as is seen with speaking parrots. Equally pets are often cute and elicit deep care-giving responses from their owners. Unfortunately pet ownership doesn’t guarantee a beneficial outcome. Animals with behavioural problems can have a detrimental effect on the life of their owner. In addition, owning a pet may put some people at risk of forming fewer human social contacts. Occasionally pet ownership has negative consequences for the animal. This is most often see with people who amass more animals than they can properly care for. Such people are often referred to as ‘Animal Collectors’. Pet Death Pet death is an inevitable part of pet ownership because of their relatively short life span. Despite the inevitability of the death of a companion animal, it may be one of the most significant losses an owner experiences due to the depth of the human-animal bond. For many people the death of their pet is less stressful than the death of a human member of their immediate family, but more stressful than the death of other relatives. As a result of the emotional and social relationships, their death elicits strong feelings that often parallel the grief response to the loss of a human companion. Up to 75% of owners experience difficulties of disruptions in their lives after pets die. Euthanasia One significant difference between human pet death in the UK is the option of euthanasia. Euthanasia literally means ‘good death’ and can be administered by a registered veterinary surgeon. As a result vets experience the death of their patients five times more than doctors. Vets are morally and ethically obligated to put an end to an animal’s suffering and pain. The decision to end a pet’s life has to be made very carefully. The vet may be clear that the pet’s life-quality has fallen below an acceptable level but the owner and all interested family members ideally have to realise and accept this fact. Once this decision is made the vet and owners are in the uncomfortable situation of having to plan the death of what is effectively a family member. Once the decision to undertake euthanasia has been taken, more often than not the act takes place in a relatively short period of time. If there is, for whatever reason, an extended period between decision and action, many owners can find this extremely stressful. Even when euthanasia is skilfully performed, the vet involved often find themselves experiencing pet owners immediate displays of grief. Thankfully these days, vets are experienced in how to respond positively to grieving owners. Loss of a companion The loss of a pet may have many more implications other than the loss of companionship. The absence of the pet often creates secondary disruptions resulting in the loss of enjoyable past times such as walking the dog or a loss of emotional support that a pet offered. The loss of a pet may leave a lot of unanswered questions, particularly if the pet died unexpectedly or without known cause. This is also the case with pets who go missing or who have been surrendered to Welfare Societies and who’s fate is unknown. In these situations it is unclear when an owner should stop asking questions and should accept the loss of the pet. One overlooked area of pet loss is known as symbolic loss where the pet represented a last link with special people now departed. The pet’s death removes those links and old losses are re-grieved in conjunction with current ones. Grief due to symbolic loss is often very intense. The Grieving Process Grief is an almost inevitable consequence of pet loss. There are may myths relating to grief that actually prolong the grieving process - such as remaining strong and composed, or staying busy after pet loss. The normal healthy grieving process is just that - a process not an event. This process goes through a number of phases. Grief often begins with anticipated loss, particularly in the case of long-running illness or euthanasia. At this stage, owners start the process of saying ‘Goodbye’ to their pets and some owners start to become detached. Immediately after the death of a pet the owner often feels shock or denial. The middle phases of grief involve emotional pain and suffering for the owner. The last phase of grief is recovery where owners often find meaning in the death of their pet. There is often no clear beginning or end to the grieving process. Each person grieves differently and frequently get stuck in one of the phases, and skip others. In a family, if there are differences in the way that people express grief it can occasionally created discord due to a perceived lack of understanding. If an expression of grief is restricted, a true recovery is prolonged. If grief is freely expressed, healing time is greatly reduced. Unresolved grief can result in owners making elaborate arrangements to avoid any reminders of their dead pets. One very worrying result of unresolved grief is thoughts of suicide. This is a very real problem and was a major contributory factor in the establishment of the Pet Bereavement Support Service (0800-0966606) Senior Owners Senior owners who are strongly attached to their pets have better emotional health compared to those without pets. Other studies show pet ownership to correlate positively with survival after discharge from a coronary unit. Such research is persuading many retirement centres and nursing homes to accept pets. Senior owners are more likely to have pets that are symbolically linked with deceased loved ones and often senior owners are uncomfortable with open expressions of grief. Senior owners have often had more experience of loss and grieving. One cannot predict how anyone will cope with the loss of a pet. Often the loss of a pet acts as a reminder that their own lives are drawing to a close. If the owner of an insured pet is for reason hospitalised, there is often a clause in the insurance policy covering incurred boarding (either cattery or kennel) fees or home care with a friend - but it varies from policy to policy and if you are unsure, you should contact your individual insurance company (PetPlan 0800 072 7000, For councelling following pet loss see links to SCAS DBI 01202 295 771, Lifelong 0845 055 1020). If a senior owner is experiencing difficulty caring for a pet, animal welfare organisations will help find the pet a new home if required. Some have schemes that specialise in finding homes for senior pets (RSPCA 0870 333 5999). The advantages of pet ownership far outweigh the disadvantages. While pet loss is an inevitable part of pet ownership, understanding your own emotional response to loss will help you through the grieving process and enable you to find meaning in your pet’s companionship and - ultimately - death. ~ Written by Issabella Vets |
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